Posted by So you’re experiencing soooo many microaggressions at the plantation of corporate America that you’re ready to quit and complain to the very big business journals and magazines that “the man” you’re running from reads? As I said before, I get it. Microaggressions and flat out r@cist behavior happens in many workplaces.
But a couple of educated sistas actually went on record to say that the answer to help sistas in the unfair, biased workplace is to have white executive zaddies coach and mentor them…Huh? Ummm, y’all do realize that most of these big corporations are headed by conservative republicans, right? Make that make sense lol. The language these guys speak is far, far from what you think if you’re convinced that threatening them and nagging them for “allyship” is the answer.
Business is war. In any war, where do you see one soldier plead for allyship and mentorship from the enemy? What are your thoughts? Watch the video and comment below!
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Educated Sistas…Stop Seeking Validation from these Money Loving Corporations
Here’s why…
Yet again, I read in Wall Street Journal and Forbes magazine about educated sistas complaining about diversity and inclusion in the workplace lol…oh boy… I did a video about this topic earlier this year, where other sistas were front and center in the biggest business magazines in the world, whining about not having a safe space to succeed in the workplace…oh my…really people lol? I even read where one PhD sista complained that because she has a PhD in social studies or something like that, that she should be making the same money as a white guy with a PhD in STEM. Are you kidding me? Stop that lol.
I recently posted a quote on Instagram from legendary Notre Dame football coach Lou Holtz, who knows many of the most influential CEOs and executives. Pay attention: Paraphrasing…the quote says to quit complaining about your problems because 80% of people don’t care, and the other 20% are glad you have them. He wasn’t just saying this to sound smart. He knows the most powerful businessmen and politicians.
That should tell you something.
Ladies, and also some of you younger brothas new to the game: business is war. The world loves money more than they love you. Your employer is at war with you whether you realize it or not. That’s why they are quick to fire YOU for ANY reason without notice, yet want YOU to give them 2 weeks notice AND train your replacement.
They pay YOU to fix THEIR problems, not to fix your problems. They don’t care. A manager or executive they seek to hire, who is perceived as complaining about their own individual problems, is judged as not being fit to lead in the corporate world. Want me to say that again for the newbies in the back?
Some of you go to these jobs thinking they care about you, and that you’re “family” lol. Wake yo azzzz up! This is how some of you get stressed out at work, because you let your personal “feelings” and identity get all tied up with the corporate brand. By seeking validation from these corporate lovers of money, you are unwittingly putting your hopes and dreams into a cold, soulless organization.
In all the unfortunate business stories I read of degreed black women complaining about feeling isolated at work, one sista actually said something that I’m very glad she put out there. She admitted that she’s the first one in her family to achieve a college degree…I think it was a masters degree, maybe a PhD. She said that because she was the first, she didn’t have anyone in her family who knew how to guide and coach her at that level. So she had to figure it out on her own. Stop right there. She’s exactly right! I wish more educated sistas would humble themselves and admit this. Ask us brothas how to navigate this warfare that is called business.
Let me tell you my story.
I was just like many of you. The first in my family to get a bachelors degree, and it was in STEM. Way back in the mid 1990s – I had started college in the mid 1980s but went part time to pay for school rather than rack up huge college debt like many of you college degree worshippers lol. Fortunately, back then, younger men and older men networked better than I’m seeing today, but that’s a topic for another video. So though my blue collar dad couldn’t really advise me in this area, there were other men who filled in the gap somewhat. One of them told me to stick with computers because they are the future. And that Italian man was doggone right! I mention his nationality because I network regardless of background, which is important in business. I don’t let skin color hold me back.
I was married with a child and one on the way when I graduated OU in 1993, and it was on the tail end of a recession, so I had to become a man on my own real quick to feed and house my family. After graduating, I just dived in from one interview to the next, no complaining about circumstances as I barely could afford to move to Dallas. Fortunately, I had already been working in IT in Oklahoma, as well as Los Angeles where I’m from, before I graduated, so it made interviews a bit easier. But in a recession, jobs are scarce. My car had been repossessed so I had to rely on the ugly Dallas bus system in those days lol. My savings was drying up as I went from one job interview to the next.
That was frustrating. I remember one job interview that seemed to go well, but I was so stressed from the endless job interviews that I actually shed some rare tears while waiting for the bus at night in the pouring rain, my young family waiting at home. “How did I get to this point, Lord?” I said. I promised myself, never again will I be in that situation. However, I didn’t dwell on my emotions. I let the tears do what tears do for a certain amount of time, then it was back to war. That was the beginning of when I realized I’m on my own out here.
I’ll spare the details. God eventually blessed my efforts – no, I didn’t wait for no dog gone affirmations or sit by trying to manifest nothing lol. Faith without works is dead, so if we expect God to do something, He expects US to do something, too. I improved my resume and interview skills, and after more failed interviews, I started getting work, making more money than ever.
But what sealed in the notion that business is war was a contract I did with a bank that got absorbed into Bank of America eventually. The master contractor I subcontracted under was not the smartest business man. He was a white guy, fyi. An important business lesson is to never mix family, friends and business too tightly. In his case, he hired a husband and wife duo. The husband was an IT guy like me. The IT guy’s wife became the executive admin or some kind of managerial associate of the master contractor dude. Long story short, I never got the full story, but the bank cancelled the entire master agreement because of some kind of shenanigans where the wife and the master contractor had a falling out, and the IT husband came to her defense, and the drama spilled out into the workplace.
Keep in mind, I wasn’t that long out of college, so my savings was not deep yet. Through no fault of my own, my contract also got cancelled because I was under them. Here I was, jobless with only 1 or 2 weeks of savings and I had just bought a 15 year old hoopty to get around in. When I got home, sadly, I shed a few more tears. I promised myself never again will I let a business put me in that situation. That’s when I founded my own S Corporation, Samsona Corporation, in 1996.
I’ll leave you with another business story that really sealed the deal. I had just got back to Dallas from another contract in Atlanta. I did a contract at IBM here in Dallas until it ended. Some time after that, I got a contract with Sprint or GTE, which became Verizon. Yep, I’m naming names lol. I forget which one it was. On the first day of my new contract, I and the IT recruiter I was with, who was a sista, walked up to the reception and were told my contract had been cancelled. We asked why? “We decided to go in a different direction.” That was it. No concern for my wellbeing, my finances. Nothing.
Fortunately, by this time, I stopped trusting companies and had ample savings, so we both shrugged our shoulders and wrote it off. Was it racism? One could argue that, since two black professionals approached reception. Was it some other business reason? Very likely. But guess what? Since I don’t have my emotions wound up in these companies, I was able to move on to the next, BETTER business opportunity.
This is my lesson for my younger brothas and sistas. You don’t have the time or energy to waste on excuses and personal complaints with these companies. If you joined the army and went to war, would you seek validation from the enemy? Of course not. Would you complain if an enemy who is whoopping your army’s azz is not diverse and inclusive enough lol? You know the answer lol. So why do I keep reading about us, especially sistas, complaining about not being validated and included by these companies? They don’t owe you anything. The sooner you see this, the more successful you will be.
I’m telling you, after having advised top c level executives over the years, they don’t respect whiners and complainers. So if they’re reading about us whining to Wall Street Journal about how unfair corporations are, you’re just making it harder for other brothas and sistas to break down doors for you.
Learn how to network with older brothas and sistas who have been knee deep in the game for decades like me. If you see me out and about at one of my fave Dallas area spots, just say hi and let’s network. I’ve met many wonderful educated brothas and sistas over the years since I founded Affluent Blacks of Dallas in 2013. Also, I plan to start a series of live streams to give free advice to you younger whipper snappers who are first in your families to get a degree but your college failed to give you the raw truth about corporate warfare. By doing a live stream, I want to expose our conversation to as many of our people as possible not just in Dallas, but everywhere. So support this channel, our website and Instagram page.
I’ll repeat: these companies don’t love you because they are at war with you. They only tolerate you to get what they can out of you. It is then up to you to get what you want out of them, just like when two equally fierce armies, beating each other like gangstas, eventually call a truce and negotiate terms of peace. Doesn’t that make more sense than making yourself inferior to them by crying about how unfair the enemy is?
Lol when in the history of racism have these companies been fair, diverse, inclusive and truly your family? Knock that ish off and get to war! Stack your papers, improve your technical skills, and get more money in exchange for giving them what they want. I bet not see any more educated sistas complaining in these business articles that the top executives read. Hear me? You’re just giving them fuel for the fire to really keep you out. Until the next video, take care, business warriors.
Affluent Blacks of Dallas 